He's Your What?
by StarFixation
Summary: When Kanou notices how close Ren and Abe seem to be he asks the to to recieve a strange answer from Ren! Rated T for just one cuss word, can you guess which?
1. Chapter 1

_**Okay this is a drabble that popped into my head right after I finished Confession.**_

**_I own nothing but the plot bunnies that burrowed into my skull to give me the ideas._**

* * *

Shuugo Kanou was feeling very out of place in Saitama. Why was he there? His (best) old friend had called him up and in his usual stammering or stuttering fashion asked if he would like to come and hang out over the break.

"Sure Ren," he had said without hesitation, but then he remembered his friend's team. "What about your team? Aren't you guys doing anything?"

Kanou felt kind of bad asking since his team wasn't really doing anything either, at least the freshman.

"N-no, Abe-kun says it's okay," Ren murmured.

Abe-kun. Even waiting at the train station form Ren to come pick him up he was still wondering who this Abe-kun person was. Kanou went through all the people he remembered from the practice match. The only ones that really stood out were the cleanup Tajima, and the tall dude Hanai.

Since he couldn't really remember anyone else Kanou resolved to try not to look too confused when, or if at all, Ren mentioned Abe-kun.

Maybe he was the captain.

Kanou was brought out of his thought however when he heard a familiar voice call his name.

"Shuu-chan!"

Kanou looked up to see Ren hurrying his way with a kid dutifully following him.

"Ren, it's been a while!" he replied, and then turning to the person with Ren he bowed. "Hello I'm–"

The guy cut him off, "I know who you are Kanou."

"A-Abe-kun, don't be rude," Ren meekly chastised.

Kanou's eyes widened. So _this_ was Abe-kun. He had short black that was messy– possibly from wearing something over his head a lot –and had a very humorless expression on his face.

The three walked out of the train station and headed into a small fast food place to get something to eat. Kanou couldn't help but notice that Abe-kun did everything for Ren. He ordered for him, carried his food, and even made sure he had cutlery and such.

_Something is off bout this…_

While Ren and Kanou chatted about essentially nothing he couldn't help but notice how Abe-kun was watching him like a hawk and how he had scooted closer to Ren, who seemed to not notice it at all as if it were the norm between them.

Finally when Kanou thought they were just about to start holding hands he asked,

"So are you two going out or something?"

Ren, who had been drinking some of his soda did a spit take, which Kanou had predicted and had shielded himself from with his tray.

"What the Hell?" Abe-kun shouted, obviously at Kanou and not Ren, drawing attention to them.

Kanou made a note to not ask questions like that when Ren had a drink in his mouth.

"Why do you think that?" Abe-kun asked after they had cleaned up their table.

"I dunno," he lied. "It's just how close you are."

The two immediately scooted apart.

"And how you do everything for him, Abe"

Abe-kun, who was wiping off Ren's shirt stopped and let him finish the job.

"And how you two are acting while I bring up everything I've noticed," Kanou finished.

Ren looked at Abe-kun and then back to Kanou, obviously uncomfortable. He almost wished that he had asked Ren one on one, but lord knows it would have been even worse and more awkward.

"No we are not dating," Abe-kun said resolutely. "Right Mihashi?"

Ren nodded and said the most surprising thing in the clearest voice Kanou had ever heard him speak in.

"Yeah, he's just my bitch."

Abe-kun and Kanou's collective jaws dropped to the floor. Mihashi was never one to use profanity or any vulgar words.

Seeing how surprised they were Ren hastily explained himself.

"Tajima-kun s-s-said that... if anyone asked about m-m-me an' Abe-kun…" he stammered.

Realization dawned on Abe-kun's eyes.

"I oughta kill that perverted shrimp!" he growled.

"Yeah," Kanou agreed. "It's wrong to take advantage of Ren's trusting nature!"

The two stormed out of the restaurant with Ren on their heels begging them not to harm Tajima-kun.

**ooOOOoo**

At Tajima's house the cleanup felt a chill go down his spine.

"Hmm, I guess Abe wants to kill me now…" he shuddered.

* * *

_****__**Would you believe that I wrote this in twenty minutes? Hmm, me neither.**_

**_REVIEW OR MY PLOT BUNNIES WILL TELL YOURS NEVER TO VISIT AGAIN!_**

**_Just kidding._**


	2. OMAKE!

Hey it's me again, and i would like to let you know that this part has nothing to do with the rest of He's your What? but i wanted to put in an omake before i got to the next chapter in which Mihashi gets... aggressive.

Oh yeah _this equals Mihashi singing_ while** _this means that Tajima is_**. Just so you know.

I do not own I kissed a girl by Katy Perry.

* * *

Tajima wasn't surprised to see Mihashi curled into a ball in the corner of the locker room in the middle of practice one day. Nor was he surprised to see Abe trying, in his usual gruff manner, to calm the pitcher down. He knew that Abe would never be able to get it on his own so he decided to intervene.

"Hey, Abe let me handle this," he called.

"But-" Abe scowled.

"Seriously, I got this," Tajima assured the catcher, pushing him out of the room. "Go tell coach Mo we'll be up in a minute."

Abe reluctantly left. As he climbed the stairs Tajima turned to the sobbing pitcher.

"Take a breath and tell me what happened,"

Mihashi obeyed, "Last night… party…Shino'oka-chan…"

Tajima nodded. The previous night the team had thrown a party. Tajima remembered that Abe had left early and he soon followed, but he vaguely remembered…

"No way you didn't!"

Suddenly from nowhere music began to play.

"_This did not go the way I planned_

_Not my intention"_

Tajima's eyes widened. "You did!"

Mihashi scowled.

"_I had so firmly drink in hand_

_Lost my discretion"_

Tajima blanched. At the part he had slipped both Abe and Mihashi something extra in their drinks. He realized that Abe had left because he noticed how tipsy he was starting to get, but Mihashi couldn't hold his liquor and-

"_Wasn't what I'm used to_

_But I had to try her on_

_I was curious for she_

_Caught MY ATTENTION"_

Tajima knew what was coming next

"_I kissed a girl and I liked it!_

_The taste of her cherry chap stick_

_I kissed a girl just to try it!_

_I hope Abe-kun don't mind it"_

Tajima interjected.

"_**It felt so wrong?"**_

"_It felt so right!_

_Did that mean I was in love last night?"_

The music died down. Tajima's head was spinning with numerous questions.

"You kissed Shino'oka?" he exclaimed. "How drunk did I get you?"

The music began again.

"_I did not even know my name_

_\it didn't matter_

_That drink caused me so much pain_

_Unleashed my drunken nature_

_It's not what gay boys do_

_Not, how they should behave_

_My head was so confused_

_But, I still obeyed!"_

"_**you kissed a girl and liked it**_

_**And got a little hard in your dick**_

_**You kissed a girl, tried to fight it**_

_**God I hope Abe doesn't mind it!"**_

"_It felt so wrong!"_

"_**It felt so right!"**_

"Maybe you were bisexual last night," suggested a voice as the music died down again.

Tajima and Mihashi turned to the stairs to see Abe smirking.

"A-A-Abe-kun…I… you…" Mihashi stammered.

"It's not his fault!" Tajima insisted.

"Who cares whose fault it is?" Abe asked, getting closer. "I think it's hot."

The catcher smirked and both Tajima and Mihashi got nosebleeds.

"_**You kissed a girl and liked it,**_"

"_And abe doesn't mind it!_"


End file.
